The following is a guest blog from my friend Charlotte (named changed). I have been looking for a firsthand woman’s perspective on trying nudism. We are good friend with Charlotte and her husband Carlos and she very willingingly wrote the blog post below. She hits on so many questions that women (and couples) struggle with when considering social nudity. And more importantly, the benefits of it, especially when your spouse is sitting naked right next to you. I’m proud of her. What a great blog. Let us know what you think.
Raised in the Midwest, I never thought ditching your clothes in public could be an enjoyable pastime. Truthfully, I was never aware it was even an option. I had no preconceived notions or expectations about nudism. Growing up, my father taught me respect of all living things and led by example, going so far as to set live mouse traps for mice that wandered into our horse feed storage. These values significantly helped foster the carefree attitude I live by today – ‘Live and let live.’
Though I don’t consider myself a true nudist, I particularly enjoy baring it all on vacation and when our time allows. Several times during the summer, my husband and I will visit local nudist clubs and enjoy socializing with the crowds that gather there. And later this month, we will be enjoying a nude first for us – renting a private Caribbean villa with another couple who loves to be naked as much as we do.
My first experience with nudism was rather spontaneous. My husband Carlos and I began dating midsummer several years ago, excitedly and hurriedly falling in love, which was a surprise and uncharacteristic of us both. He was a lifelong bachelor and me, a recent divorcee. The almost immediate sense of security and comfort we found within each other allowed us to communicate candidly about everything, from our political views to some of our deepest revelations.
One conversation that seemed so innocent at the time now strikes me as my first introduction to nudism. After travel plans to the sunny island of Saint Martin were in the works, Carlos asked if I would ever try nude sunbathing, considering it is a popular activity on Saint Martin’s beaches. I paused and thought out loud, “I honestly have no idea.”
I recalled my days as a teenager, lying in the sun topless in my backyard. High school dances and tan lines are long-time foes. Privacy was ample in my backyard and the only risk of exposure was the occasional airplane flying overhead.
‘Stripping off my swimsuit in front of other people though? Would I have the courage?’ As I gave the idea more life, I asked, “Would you be ok with other men seeing me naked?” Carlos said, “Of course,” without hesitation. In my naiveté, I struggled separating nudism from its sexual connotation. My only previous encounter with nudism was skinny dipping at a local quarry after a high school football game with several friends – girls and boys, one of whom I had a small crush on. The moonlight was scarce, which allowed us to shed our clothes without much fear of being seen jumping into the cool water. I shared my experience with Carlos, slightly nervous he may pass judgment, but he just smiled in sweet amusement. Our conversation digressed and we rambled about other things. We did not suggest nudism again until we were lying out at Happy Bay, a sandy and secluded beach on Saint Martin.
After dating a little less than a year, Carlos had proposed. Suddenly, we were engaged and jetting off to the Caribbean. Carlos’ confidence and enthusiasm were more reassuring, attractive and contagious than ever before. I couldn’t help but be swept away in his excitement as he showed me around his favorite island, drove us to his favorite beach, and carefully picked out a semi-secluded spot by the water. He poured us each a generous glass of red wine, and we sat on the beach soaking up the sun. Shortly after finishing our wine, in what seemed like one swift motion, Carlos slid down his swim shorts and reached over to untie my bikini top. I let the straps fall to the sand and without moving to stop him. He untied the string that was holding my bikini top somewhat in place. My eyes locked on his, and any sense of uneasiness was gone. He then rather sweetly and hopefully asked, “Will you slide off your bottoms too?” Without saying anything, I did and smiled.
A wave of excitement immediately washed over me and with the rush, my senses became acutely aware of everything. I had never felt the sun’s warmth so completely or the ocean’s breeze so freely. A new sense of liberation consumed me. For several minutes, I just stared at the ocean in complete awe and shock.
No one was yelling at me to dress myself. No one was staring at me. No one seemed to notice or even care. As I looked around, it dawned on me we were not the only ones lying naked on the beach. How had I not noticed? Carlos interrupted my self-examination and asked if I would join him for a swim. Apprehension started to creep in. ‘Wait, I have to get up? Surely people will stare.’ Carlos noted my hesitation and without words, offered me the reassurance and courage I needed. ‘So what if they stare?’
He stood up first and offered his hand, helping me off of my cloth sanctuary. For some reason, leaving my towel behind affirmed my display of public nudity. But with Carlos by my side, I had strength and courage I never had before. In no hurry, we walked down the beach holding hands and entered the warm ocean water for our first nude swim together. The water seemed to feel more slippery than I’d ever felt before and my body offered no resistance as I gracefully glided through the water. One single moment lasting no more than a few minutes had just completely opened my eyes to a new state of mindfulness.
The rest of the evening, I unleashed a fury of questions that had been brewing all day at the beach and Carlos shared his story and confirmed a few of my suspicions. This was not his first experience with nudism, but it was his first experience sharing it with someone he loved. Though it was not an overtly sexual experience for either of us, we shared a heightened degree of intimacy that brought our relationship to another level. I excitedly and curiously listened to Carlos share his prior experiences.
He first arrived to Saint Martin aboard a popular cruise ship. Walking along the shores of Orient Beach, he was one of the few American tourists who removed his shorts while walking the nude side of the beach. When I asked him why, his reply was simple, “It just seemed like fun!”
Enjoying the experience so much, he decided to visit a local nudist club. Coincidently, he ran into a coworker there. I can imagine the odds of this happening are extremely low. Within the nudist community, there is a healthy level of respect for privacy, and their meeting followed suit. Neither ever mentioned the incident at work and they remain friends today.
Not wanting to give up nudism, Carlos eventually returned to Saint Martin for a second time with his then-girlfriend. Together they explored more of the island, but for the entirety of the trip, she remained clothed. Curiously, I asked if it would bother him if I decided that nudism might not be for me. Carlos confidently insisted he would accept my decision, but my preferences would not change his own. I greatly appreciated the lack of pressure I felt in that moment. Carlos would love me no matter my decision and would continue to respect me. Ultimately, like my husband, unwinding anywhere au natural is just too much fun not to partake.
Since my first experience with nudism, my body has seen several changes. Carlos and I returned to the Caribbean for our honeymoon, both of us carrying a few extra pounds that came with the stress of planning a wedding and enjoying life a little too much.
The third time we left our swimsuits behind, I was 25-weeks pregnant and displaying a very recognizable baby bump. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the freedom of leaving behind my clothes. I have yet to find clothes that are truly comfortable for any expecting mother.
Shortly after delivering, we decided to visit a local nudist club, one that was new to both of us. I was three months postpartum, still carrying around extra weight from pregnancy, leaking breast milk and nursing my infant. Though I had reservations, I refused to let anything stand in my way of enjoying my life. As a new mom, I was unprepared for the amount of attention we would receive with such a young baby, but it allowed us to become more sociable and leave behind the isolation we previously maintained by nature of our Type B personalities.
After our visit, Carlos and I both shared a longing to return to Saint Martin. After the trip was already booked, we learned we were expecting. Again, I shed my swimsuit underneath the sun with a baby bump on display. To my surprise, I found my pregnancy, though fairly small at the time, to be quite a conversation starter. Strangers would congratulate us and ask the typical follow up questions.
In fact, it was this very topic that broke the ice and gave reason for small chit chat with someone who has since become very close friends of ours. As fate would have it, the man standing directly behind us in line during an Orient Beach Bar happy hour lives less than 10 minutes from our home. After quickly discovering the proximity of our homes, TC excitedly introduced us to his wife Mindy and we all immediately hit it off.
Upon our return, we stayed in contact. After finding time for a brief escape from busy schedules, we reconnected with TC and Mindy during the winter months over dinner. With like minded personalities and shared interests, it was easy to plan a couple visits to our local nudist clubs with them as soon as the summer weather allowed. Our friendship continues to flourish and has allowed us to try something new to all of us – share a private villa with another nudist couple.
Too often, as women we criticize ourselves and each other. Our insecurities become motivating factors preventing us from doing things we once loved or may grow to love. In my neighborhood alone, even the most petite mother wears a very modest one-piece swimsuit at our neighborhood pool. Instead of celebrating our imperfect bodies, we regularly try to hide the things we detest – scars, stretch marks, cellulite, imperfect breasts, unwanted pounds, and the list goes on. Any idea of perfection is relentlessly brandished everywhere we turn – television, literature, advertisements, movies, pornography, etc. That quantifiable idea of perfection just doesn’t exist in the natural world.
I do not carry a perfect body. Simply put, I am quite average. My body still carries the extra weight brought on during pregnancy, my breasts aren’t as perky as they once were, cellulite has claimed many parts of my body, and my stomach has lost the tightness it once had before children. Physically, my body has transformed into something new with almost every nudist experience I have had, but each instance has given me the opportunity to confront a new set of insecurities and practice self-acceptance, an important concept I hope to pass to my own children.
Carlos has been incredibly patient and completely supportive throughout these life changes, putting up with my crying episodes (mostly hormonal) and not once shaming me if I felt the need to cover-up for whatever reason. Despite it all, one of the reasons I am still able to confidently strip down my clothes and walk down the beach for all to see is my ability to not just accept my body as it is, but celebrate it. I am a mother of three beautiful children, and I am proud that my body shows signs of motherhood. It’s the role I am proudest to fill. And though there are times I wish I had my pre-pregnancy body back, I am grateful that my experiences have made me stronger and more confident than I ever was when I was a size 2. I am happier now in my average body than I was then. I am more confident naked now than I was then. And with that confidence and those new life experiences, I have met some interesting people along the way and made a couple amazing friends.
All of our bodies tell stories. Each story is truly unique and deserves to be cherished by ourselves and respected by others. Don’t be afraid to share yours. The truly beautiful thing about nudism is the welcoming attitude and feelings of overwhelming acceptance. In my experiences, I have found the people who judge the most are often the ones wearing the most clothes. Perhaps they are afraid their insecurities will be noticed if they don’t first point out the flaws in others. Regardless of what others think, your opinion of yourself is the only one that truly matters and the only one you have the power to control.
If you’re thinking of trying nudism for the first time, go for it! If you’re single, what have you got to lose? If you’re married and hoping to convince your partner, sit down together and have an open and honest conversation. Leave judgments behind and listen to each other’s doubts, fears and insecurities with sincerity and respect. Accept that he or she might be hesitant or resistant. Explore each other’s fears and work to overcome them together. And absolutely do not forget to affirm your love for one another.
When I think of that summer with my husband, I’m reminded of a quote I once read:
“I want to live everything with the most density possible…I am so conscious that life might escape me at any moment, that everything has become keener and more distilled…I tell myself: All this happiness still, but for how long? So I devour life.” (What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind)
Truly empowering words of wisdom to live by.
So what’s the perfect way to relax and literally soak in Mother Nature and all of her beauty? There is no better place to take it all off and try nude recreation than a hot spring. It is the perfect low/no stress environment to see what getting naked in nature really feels like for you and your significant other.
Earlier this summer we published an updated list of activities to do naked with your spouse or significant other. These were from readers of our first blog post on the topic who made suggestions of activities they would recommend. One of those suggestions was soaking in a wilderness hot spring. I added it to my list and after visiting one in New Mexico, I would recommend it to anyone. It’s like having your own hot tub but so much better.
I was visiting Santa Fe on business and had an extra day. Rather than stay in town, which is tempting because it’s a really great city to explore, I decided to see what hikes were recommended in the mountains. I quickly discovered that New Mexico is known for many amazing hot springs including several with fantastically scenic hikes to reach them and most of them clothing optional (you can be naked, topless or in your swimming suit… the choice is your’s).
The hot springs I read about really were all different. Some were very remote and hard to reach, while others were right off main roads and very crowded. Some had been purchased and turned into spas, while others were “trashed” by tourists and locals. Here is a list I found very helpful.
The one hot springs I kept reading about that appealed to me the most was the San Antonio Hot Springs. It features an amazingly scenic and beautiful five-mile hike by a creek up a canyon. The hike goes over a variety of landscapes but you’re climbing with every step up the canyon. The views are amazing.
I did the hike in early October and it was warm. I did it in late afternoon/early evening because I wanted to sit out and watch the stars fill the sky (bring a flashlight). The hike will take between 1.5-2.5 hours or however long it will take you to walk five miles up hill. Bring water. There is no water available on the hike. The hike alone was the highlight of my day, but that’s when I got to the hot springs.
The hike ends after passing an abandoned barn and cabin with four beautiful pools of water cascading down a hillside overlooking the creek and cliffs of the canyon. A hot spring fills the top pool and the water flows from one to the next. The top pool is 105 F and the temperature falls with each pool.
I was alone when I got to the springs. I took off my clothing and jumped into the top pool and enjoyed the soak while looking out at the cliffs, stream and the forest all around me. The water was crystal clear and actually a bit too warm for me. After 15 minutes, I had to take a seat on the rocks surrounding the pool to cool off. Sitting in the hot springs with stunning natural surrounding all around is an amazing feeling. The water is unbelievably comfortable and the four pools have sand bottoms so you can sit in them without the pain of a rock pinching your bottom.
I would call the San Antonio hot springs a little gem hidden in the New Mexico wilderness. You’ve really got to want to be there because it’s not an easy hike to it. From what I saw online, the springs can be very crowded. The area around the hot springs was a little beat up from the summer hiking season, but I found very little trash. The hot spring pools themselves were wonderfully maintained.
I stayed and soaked for nearly two hours, watching the sunset give way to the stars. It was an unbelievable night. My only complaints were that my wife wasn’t with me to enjoy it and that I was the only one there. The best part of social nudity is just that… social. I have yet to meet another person or couple nude in a hot tub that I didn’t enjoy talking with and sharing stories. While I was there for me, I would have enjoyed talking to other people too.
Sound like something you might want to try? I’m sure you have questions.
First off, there is nothing more wonderful than getting naked with your significant other on a beach, pool or in this case, hot springs. While you’ll be anxious at first, most people quickly realize that it really feels great. You’ll feel “exposed” and uncomfortable for a few minutes. Once the, “Are we crazy, what are we doing feeling wears off,” you’ll feel very comfortable and actually will get a rush from it. Sound cliche I know, but you’ll feel free, open and once the anxiety wears off, really good. And yes, because every guy asks about this, it isn’t uncommon to get an erection the first time you watch your significant other get naked. It will pass. Simply put a towel over your penis till it calms down or jump in the water and relaxi. This too shall pass. We recommend either going early or late to avoid other people. Just be prepared with a flashlight, etc.
As a side note, while we wrote this blog post for couples, if you’re a single woman who wants to try a nude hot spring, Christine Garvin’s article is excellent: “How to Approach Clothing Optional Hot Springs Around the World.” Give it a read.
Second, while I’m sure most couples who have never tried social nudity would want to be by themselves to start, if another couple or group of people are there already and naked, don’t worry about it. Just take your time and do what feels right. From our experiences most guys are all for getting naked and skinny dipping. It might take a little time for your wife/girlfriend to get comfortable. Step into the pool and relax. Once she feels comfortable (and she probably will but on her time frame) let her decide if she wants to take off her bikini top or drop her bathing suit completely. Be encouraging but not demanding. Let it be a shared experience and I promise you, it will be relaxing and fun for both of you.
So what do you do if there are other people there and they aren’t naked? Well, the decision is yours. Nudity is legal on U.S. Park Service lands so you are breaking no laws. Do what you’re comfortable with. We’ve been doing this for years and I have no problem taking my clothing off in a place where it is legal and recognized as clothing optional. That said, if someone was there with children, I would ask how much longer they were going to be there to see if we could wait them out or tell them that we intend on using the hot springs naked and discussing where we want to be and where they are. Again, the choice is yours. You’re in control.
I can tell you from what we’ve seen if there are other couples there with their bathing suits on, usually the other couples are waiting for someone to break the “nude” ice. This is what I mean. Read this Yelp Review of the San Antonio Hot Springs from Anthony J, “The three pools are out in the open on a hill side. If you are lucky like we were we saw some nudist in the springs. They were quick to get out and put on bathing suits when they saw us, but when we got to the pools they were very nice. We all had some really good conversation. After an hour of talking we all decided to go skinny dipping. The women were mid 30s and my friends and I were early 20s. That was the first time I’ve ever gone skinny dipping, and it was very enjoyable.” This happens a lot. Nudity is a big deal until you experience it and find it’s not a big deal at all.
We had something similar happen the first time we went to a very small, clothing optional beach in St. Maartin. There were four other younger 20/30 something aged couples, all in their bathing suits and bikinis on the beach when we arrived. As soon as we laid out our towels, I dropped my bathing suit and went skinny dipping in the ocean. By the time I got back to my wife, she had already taken her bikini top off and five minutes later put her bikini bottoms in her bag for safe keeping. By the time I had gotten out of the ocean for my swim, half the guys had already taken off their bathing suits and one woman her top. Within 30 minutes of my wife taking off her bikini and the two of us jumping in the ocean, all four couples were naked. By the time we left the beach, the four other couples were playing in the waves and walking down the beach in the buff like they had done it all their lives. The beach actually became pretty crowded and everyone was naked. This is a long example, but I’m surprised at how often all it takes is just one couple to get naked and everyone joins in.
Finally, and this is really important, so wouldn’t this hot spring be a wonderful place for romance, especially since you’re both naked already?
Nudity does not equal sex. All nudist will tell you one of the first surprises of social nudity is that while it can be romantic for you and your spouse, it isn’t a sexually charged environment. There is a time and place for everything and intimate touching and sex should be done in private, NOT in the open. If you’re lucky enough to have your own private pool or hot tub, go at it. But if you’re in a public place (beach, resort or in this case hot spring), it is a big no-no! Don’t ruin it for others (including families) that may surprise you by jumping in the hot spring while the two of you are getting hot. Sorry, it’s not acceptable.
So are you interested in trying a hot spring for you and your significant other? There are clothing optional hot springs in Arizona, California, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Oregon to name a few locations. There are a lot of reviews and locations. Some have been commercialized and you can rent your own private pool to be naked in or simply away from others. For the San Antonio Hot Springs, the address is: Forest Rd 376 (4 Miles N of FR 126) Jemez Springs, NM 87025. There is no cell phone service in this area.
More importantly, since I’m new to hot springs, if you have been to one and would recommend it as a great first time place for others to try social nudity, please send us a review and your thoughts on why it was a great first time experience for you both.
As anyone who has read our blog before knows, my wife and I are big supporters of enjoying nude vacations and getaways. For more than 20 years, we’ve found our clothing optional trips and adventures to be wonderful shared experiences for the two of us. To a couple who has never tried it before, it’s not what you would initially expect. It should be fun, exciting, freeing and relaxing. It is romantic too, but not sexual.
We started our blog nearly three years ago to encourage, answer questions and provide honest information and support to other couples who are interested in taking a nakation or trading their bathing suits for their birthday suits on an upcoming trip. We’ve found our trips to be very relaxing, romantic and freeing. It really has been a wonderful experience for us and potentially for you too.
Everyday our blog receives visits from 300-500 people interested in learning more. We invite and encourage you to ask questions. There are wonderful beaches to visit, clothing optional resorts to enjoy and completely nude vacations to discover. Please read our blog and let us know your questions and more importantly, share where you would recommend other couples go and what it was like for you.
Enjoy the soak!
A year ago I wrote about spending all day with my wife naked. We didn’t hang out in our home or in our bedroom or bathroom. We didn’t even sit out on our deck or backyard. Instead we went to a local nudist club and spent all day, outside and enjoyed the sun, the hot summer air, and the other guests. We didn’t wear a thing. It was much needed together time but it wasn’t sexual. It was fun. It was relaxing. It was energizing. It was wonderful.
Our blog captures our time together and what we like to do naked. This post was by far the most read and most popular I’ve ever written. I shared ten things we enjoy doing together naked when we’re at a nudist club, nude resort or clothing optional beach. I told you what we like to do and asked you to tell us what you like to do naked. If you missed it, click here to give it a read.
Many of you read our thoughts and sent your own. I got to tell you that your ideas were fantastic and my wife and I have added many to our own Naked Bucket List. Before I share these ideas with you, please know the purpose of our blog is to share our experiences so that other couples who are interested in exploring social nudity will know what it’s all about. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s sensual but it is not pornographic. As surprising as this might sound to a new-bee nudie, it’s not sexual. There is a time and a place for everything but intimacy or sexual touching is not appropriate in the open at a nudist club, nude resort or beach. That’s not what it’s about.
Being nude with your spouse or special friend is about feeling warm all over and free. I find the first time nude best compared to your first kiss. It’s exhilarating and exciting but you still feel like you might throw up. It’s about sharing time together without holding anything back, including your bathing suit. I could tell you more about why we enjoy being together naked but it’s probably better to share with you what others like to do. So if you’re ever wondering what it would be like or what to do naked here is our new top 10 list of things to do naked with your spouse this summer. Enjoy:
All hands on deck for nude boating & sailing – I told you all last year how much my wife and I enjoyed canoeing naked in Tahiti. Several of you said that sounded great, but we really should try leaving our swimsuits at the dock and riding the waves in a sailboat or motorboat closer to home. And of course dropping anchor and skinny dipping too. I’m on board for this idea.
Nobody puts baby in the corner… especially when she’s dancing naked – You name it, it can be done and enjoyed naked, including dancing. Line dancing? Sure why not. Disco? Okay. Breakdancing? That might leave a mark. Years ago at Hidden Beach Resort my wife and I went to our first nude dance. Even the band was naked. Imagine 35 couples dancing the night away while a Mexican cover band belted out hits from the 80s and 90s in broken English. It was fantastic.
How fast can you run? Now how fast can you run naked? – Sure anyone can compete in a Tough Mudder or Colors Run but do you have what it takes to compete in your Nikes, socks and nothing else? I’m not making this up. Runner’s World even wrote an article about it and I’ve written about White Thorn Lodge’s Naked 5K and Colors Run. Give it a try and remember if you’re not in first, the view never changes.
Nude Day Out with Friends – Okay I never thought this would make our list, but a few weeks ago we went to White Thorn Lodge and met friends there to spend the day in the buff with them. Yes, we met them on Orient Beach on St Maartin and no, none of us were wearing swimsuits then either. We had lunch together. Skinny dipped in the pool. Took a hike. Talked. Laughed. Enjoyed mojitos. Talked some more. We had so much fun we stayed for dinner. Yes, it can be intimidating to think of spending the day naked with friends but when you’ve been out to dinner many times before and enjoyed it, why not? Our friends made a great day even better.
Check out the Heavenly Bodies – No I’m not talking about peeping toms. They suck. I am talking about laying naked under the stars or sitting in a hot tub or pool with your spouse. You’ll see more moons than the one in the sky. Romantic and fun too. We love to do this when we’re visiting a nude resort like Couples Sans Souci.
How do you stay warm when you’re naked on a cool night? A hot spring of course! Friends of ours love going to nude hot springs in Colorado and California. It sounds awesome and usually has a naked hike to the springs to get there too. Definitely on our list now.
Naked water skiing also known as a power enima. I was surprised when two people suggested this and said it was a blast. I googled it and sure enough, it’s a thing. I’m not one to judge because I’ll try most things once, but the thought of my bare butt (or worse) hitting the water makes me scream in pain just thinking about it. Give it a try and let me know what you think.
When you’re ready to Dive in all the way, try nude snorkeling or scuba diving. This has been on my bucket list for years and I thought I was going to accomplish it when I went to Couples San Souce earlier this year. Unfortunately you can snorkel only on their textile beach, not their nude one. I guess that will wait till next time.
You’ve been served. Naked beach volleyball! Yes, it’s almost cliche to think about nudist and nude volleyball games on the beach or in the pool. I’m not sure why but it is part of the nudist culture. That said, it might be a pickup game in a pool, the semi pro games at Haulover nude beach on the weekends or the Super Bowl of Nude Volleyball each year held at White Thorn Lodge in Western Pennsylvania. Regardless, you’ll have a blast or is it a ball?
So is a nude dog one not wearing a collar? Several people mentioned how much they enjoy taking a walk at a nudist club and bringing their dog with them to walk too. I love walking our dogs but never thought once about bringing them with us to a local club. I would first recommend calling the club to make sure dogs/pets are welcome. We’ll have to give this one a try.
So here are 10 new ideas to do with your spouse or special friend naked this summer. Let us know if you do any of them and what you think. The next question I usually get is, “Where can my wife and I try some of these activities?” I’ve included links where I can but your best bet is to go to the American Association of Nude Recreation (AANR) website to their club and resort finder app. AANR member clubs and resorts must maintain a high standard to be an accredited club. Not all of these activities will be available at an AANR member club (nude boating or sailing, hot springs?) but most will. I also recommend visiting The Naturist Society (TNS) website for more information about nude recreation.
Better yet tell us what you like to do if we haven’t mentioned it yet. Regardless, remember that social nudity is about you and your partner. It’s fun and always should be. The hardest part is just trying it. Once you’ve gotten over the first “can I do this” hurdle, it’s really easy after that.
I’ve always loved summer time, but the older I get the more summer means getting naked and spending time with my wife outdoors. Honestly there is nothing better than feeling the sunshine on your skin and a warm breeze cooling your body. After 45 years, I can honestly say being naked outside on a warm or hot day is the best. Sound like something you and your spouse or special friend might want to try? There is no better time to be naked than summer time.
Our blog is about encouraging couples to try social nudity. For my wife and me, we’ve found it to be a wonderful bonding point. We are not nudist. We live very normal lives in the suburbs. Most days were are getting our children off to school and working long hours at our jobs. We don’t stand around naked in the kitchen or garden in the backyard nude. We’re just like you. Except that we have discovered how wonderful it is to spend time together naked outside. I’m not talking about sexual intimacy. We are not touching each other. That’s not appropriate outside of the privacy of your bedroom. We are just spending time and hanging out with other naked couples who like to do the same thing.
This summer, we invite you to discover the joys of spending time with your spouse or special friend naked because there is no better time to be naked outdoors than when the days are sunny and warm.
So what’s stopping you? Here are five answers to most couples biggest concerns about trying social nudity:
Will we stand Out? Every couple who hasn’t experienced social nudity believes when they are naked everyone will stare at them. The only time you are noticeable at a nude club, resort or beach is when you’re clothed. Once the clothes come off, you look like everyone else… naked.
What if we see someone we know? This was my wife’s biggest concern and one reason we didn’t got to a local nudist club until we were in our mid-30s. Privacy is a big part of nude establishments. It is expected that you will never ask anyone their last name or where they are from. You share only as much information as you would like. While we’ve never run into any friends or even acquaintances while naked, we’ve met several other couples at nudist clubs, beaches and resorts that we’ve become good friends with since meeting. The most important thing to remember if you see someone you know is that they enjoy being naked too. That’s all.
What if we don’t want to be naked around other people? As couples are getting used to social nudity, often they don’t want to be social. That’s okay. This is your time together naked so spend it as you would like to. We’ve seen two types of couples; The ones who want to be social and are playing volleyball in the pool or talking at the bar. They have lot of friends and like to talk. The other group find their own space and relax. Maybe their next to everyone at the pool but just reading books and talking to themselves. Or maybe they’ve found their own space on the beach.
Will someone hit on me or make a romantic or sexual advance? This is a real concern and for us, and it’s never happened. If anyone is making you uncomfortable, tell someone at the club, resort or beach. Nudist clubs, resorts and most beaches have zero tolerance for unwanted sexual advances. When you’re naked, you’re exposed and vulnerable. Nude clubs and resorts do a lot to make sure the environment is safe. Cameras are not allowed. At a nudist club, you will have to give them your driver’s license for a background check. Some nude resorts ask guests sign a code of conduct. I know that it happens but simply telling someone that you’re not interested should be enough.
What if my body doesn’t look good enough to be naked around other people? It’s sad, but this is probably the biggest reason couples don’t try social nudity. In the years since we started this blog, we have received a lot of questions about the “right body” for a nude beach or club. The right body is your body. Your first time nude will be an interesting experience. Yes, there will probably be some good looking people there, but honestly, most people are wonderfully average. No one stands out. Do not be concerned with scars or surgery marks. Do not be concerned about stretch marks or bellies. Do not be concerned about your breasts being too big or too small or one being bigger than the other. Do not be concerned if your penis is too small or too large. Do not be concerned with private tattoos or piercings. Do not be concerned about birthmarks. Do not be concerned if you are completely shaved and without pubic hair or natural or somewhere in between. When you’re naked, you’ll be around some of the most unjudging people ever. Perhaps one of our biggest discoveries was that when you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to be ashamed of or anxious either.
So what other questions do you have? Should you go to a club or a beach? What can we do while we’re there? (check out our blog on what we like to do) What about kids? If you’re going to a club, call ahead. Let them know it’s your first time and ask them what you should expect and what they expect from you. If you’re going to a public beach like Haulover in Miami, Wreck in Vancouver or Black’s in San Diego, read up online to hear where to go and what to bring.
Most of all, enjoy the time together with your spouse. We find our time naked together to be relaxing and recharging. Enjoy!
So is one of your New Year’s resolutions to go topless on a beach? Or are you thinking of adding skinny dipping to your bucket list? How about taking a nude vacation aka nakation? There is no better time than 2016 to see what visiting a nude beach or resort really feels like. It’s not what you expect.
My wife and I have been writing this blog for more than two years now. We’ve detailed our experiences visiting nude and clothing optional resorts, B&B, beaches and clubs all over the U.S., Mexico, South Pacific and Caribbean. Our time naked on vacation is some of the best quality time we have together. It’s fun. It’s relaxing. It’s great we time. It’s very romantic but not in a sexual way. I’ll explain more later. And our blog is here to help and encourage other couples to give it a try.
I was reviewing the search terms people use to find our blog over the past year and a lot of them are related to what to expect at a nude beach or resort and about convincing wives and girlfriends to give it a try….
- How do I convince my wife to try a nude beach?
- How do we try a nude beach?
- Wife worried about sunbathing topless
- What are nude beaches/resorts like for women?
Going back 20 years ago, my wife (then girlfriend) had the same apprehensions about going to a nude beach. She liked the idea of being naked outside with me, but was concerned about the people we would meet and other women and men viewing and rating her body.
From what I’ve seen and heard from my own wife over the years, these are all honest questions and concerns. To someone who hasn’t been topless or nude on a beach, the thought of being completely naked and exposed and happy and comfortable seems impossible. It’s really not.
For any husband or boyfriend who would like to visit a nude beach or resort with their spouse, here is some advice from my wife and me. The key is to ensure it’s a safe and relaxing place so she (and you) can become comfortable with your nakedness. Here are our tips:
Talk. Have an open and honest discussion about sunbathing nude, going topless or skinny dipping. Why do you want to do it and what’s to be gained by doing it? We have found it’s a wonderful shared experience. It’s a thrill like the first time you hold hands or kiss.
Never surprise your wife with a trip to a nude beach or resort without discussing it first. Chances are she’ll say she likes the thought of being naked with you, it’s just the other people at the beach or resort who will see her that she is uncomfortable with. That’s an honest concern and until you’ve tried it, you don’t realize that it’s really not about other people. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin. So how do you do that? Here is a blog we wrote on the talk before you drop your swimsuit.
Have a Plan. Maybe a trip to a nude resort isn’t the best first step. Perhaps a better solution is going to a resort that allows topless sunbathing or has a nude beach. Or go to a clothing optional beach and bare as much as you want until you’re comfortable with taking your bathing suit off. For example, the Couples Resorts in Jamaica all offer sections where women can sunbath topless or couples can be nude for swimming or sunbathing. Or go to a nude beach like Haulover in Miami or Black’s Beach in San Diego. These are recognized nude beaches, patrolled by police with lifeguards and volunteers to ensure a fun and safe environment.
Take Your Time. This is probably the most important piece of advice my wife shared . If you’re at a resort that offers a nude or topless section, find a spot where you have space and can be comfortable together. Don’t worry about anyone else. Just concentrate on one another. It should be romantic time for the two of you.
If you’re at a nude public beach, it’s best not to stray too far away from everyone. Better yet, look for other couples and set up 10-15 yards from them. Before long you’ll have your own safe space and then do what you’d normally do. Set up your towel or beach chairs. Put up the umbrella. Get out your tanning lotion and sun glasses. The key here is to be comfortable in your space by the beach or pool.
Ease into Being Naked. If you’re at a resort and want to try going topless, take off your bikini top and put on suntan lotion. It will feel odd and a little scary at first. If you’re feeling too anxious, then turn over on to your stomach and give yourself time to get comfortable. Don’t worry about who is watching. From our experience, the only time anyone ever really notices you on a nude beach is when you’re still wearing clothing. Chances are no one is watching at all. Once you’re naked, you really just blend in. From our experience, if you’re at the nude section of the resort the best thing to do is not to think about it. Drop your bathing suit, lie down on your chair or towel and relax. Again, lay on your stomach if you’re too nervous (we’ve all seen butts before, right?). If you’re at a nude beach, take off your bathing suit as you choose to do it.
Here is the Key: Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin. From our experience of watching couples do this countless times, one of two things happens next. She or he can’t get comfortable. They try to but it’s obvious that they aren’t enjoying this experience at all. It’s anything but romantic. They usually last for an hour or less and then put on their swim suits and leave. There is nothing wrong with this. Nude recreation isn’t for everyone. That’s okay. Not everyone likes football or baseball either. You gave it a shot.
The other option is that the two of you have fun. You get comfortable with being naked outside together. You feel the warmth of the sun. You decide to jump in the pool or go skinny dipping in the ocean. Or go for a walk on the beach. It goes from being an odd foreign experience to one that is empowering, liberating, FUN and very romantic. Often a transformation takes place. While the initial thought of being naked outside where other people could see you caused a lot of stress and anxiety, after the first day you’ll find yourself wanting to get to the beach or pool sooner and to stay longer because it’s such a wonderful feeling of openness and togetherness. There is a thrill because you’re enjoying it together.
It’s at this point that you’ll see it’s not a sexual experience. I’d be lying to you if I told you that seeing my wife laying out on the beach or walking around the pool naked isn’t a turn on to me. It is but not physically. It’s mental. To me, she is still the most beautiful woman in the world and seeing her like this only adds to her beauty. The resorts and beaches I mentioned all have strict policies against public sexual touching and intimacy. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but there are rules and people who will enforce it if they see it. From our experience, this shouldn’t be one of your concerns.
Often times it takes a few times to get comfortable. A couple we met on a nude beach in Hawaii told us they had been going to nude beaches for years but she would only go topless and only if no one else was nearby. Finally she decided that her husband looked great naked and she wanted to join him. When we were in St. Martin last year, a couple sat down next to us on Orient Beach. They had gotten off a cruise ship and it was obvious they had a plan. He immediately striped while she took more time to get comfortable. When she pulled off her sarong, she was wearing one of the smallest thong bikinis I had ever seen. She spent the day wearing her thong bikini while her husband was nude. They had a blast. She was comfortable and they had fun together. Even my wife still will wear a towel around her waist when we first arrive at a resort. She doesn’t mind going topless but wear it to cover up when she goes to the beach bar or back to our room. Usually by the end of the day, she has dropped the towel and is now comfortable walking around the beach or pool nude.
I don’t envy my wife or other women. The stigma tied to body shape and how a “good” girl is supposed to act in public is overwhelming. Perhaps the most upsetting emails I’ve received are from women who believe they are too fat or their breasts are too small or they’re not pretty enough to spend time on a nude beach. I’m very sorry for them. It shouldn’t be like this. These are powerful mental roadblocks that some women will never overcome.
So support your wife and respect her. By making this a shared experience and by concentrating on her and letting her decide what to do next, we believe the two of you will discover that being naked together outside is one of the most enriching and thrilling experiences you can have together. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve been together six months or 50 years, my wife and I still get excited when we first take off our bathing suits and relax together on a warm, sunny beach.
Here is a blog post that a couple sent to me after reading our blog. Note that they went to the Hedonism Resort in Jamaica which does allow public sexual contact. My wife and I would never go there because that’s not our idea of fun, but that’s us.
I’ve shared our thoughts and experiences. I’d like to hear yours. Especially if you’re a woman who enjoys nude recreation and travel or are still considering it. Great post